


Three Memories

by Blackdresses13



Series: Strifelumhart Garden [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Chronic Pain, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackdresses13/pseuds/Blackdresses13
Summary: Zack’s staring at Cloud like he wants to sob, and the blond looks so tense and unhinged. Leon doesn’t want this; he doesn’t want this moment. He doesn’t want Cloud to have to process this specific nightmare right now. He isn’t sure Cloud is ready.-Cloud re-meets Zack.
Relationships: Squall Leonhart/Noctis Lucis Caelum/Cloud Strife
Series: Strifelumhart Garden [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963891
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Three Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is set before the first piece in this series, probably about 2-3 years prior. Also, fun fact: I headcanon Zack as Leon's older brother. Also Noctis is here in spirit, okay?
> 
> TW reference to trauma but no trauma details!

Leon can’t feel his fingers. He’s squeezing the back of the kitchen chair so hard that some part of him is scared it will break. If the chair breaks, then that means this is real, and all of the awful feelings are, in fact, colliding into him.

Zack’s staring at Cloud like he wants to sob, and the blond looks so tense and unhinged. Leon doesn’t want this; he doesn’t want this moment. He doesn’t want Cloud to have to process this specific nightmare right now. He isn’t sure Cloud is ready.

But Noctis  _ said _ .

He said this needed to happen. That Leon couldn’t keep holding back from Cloud something this important. That he needed to give Cloud the opportunity to remember Zack.

But would Cloud  _ want _ to remember Zack if the only memories he has are of Zack dying trying to save Cloud’s life?

The chair creaks, and Leon’s knee flutters beneath him, pacing back and forth within the hinges of his ligaments.

“Cloud,” Zack tries, an easy smile attempting to overshadow his glassy eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Leon looks over, and Cloud is starting to tremble, first in his hands and riding up to his shoulders. Leon can tell he’s still present, but he’s starting to get overwhelmed.

“Zack, maybe-“ but his brother cuts him off.

“Cloud,  _ did _ you trust me? All those years at the academy and then while we were at Shinra: did you trust me then?”

It’s so quiet.

“I...,” Cloud says, his eyes shifting to Leon. “Is...Leon...am I...?”

Now Zack is looking at Leon, too, eyes pleading and tears streaking down.

The chair is splintering his heart.

“I remember, once, Zack sent me a picture of the two of you hanging out on this red terrace. You were on his shoulders even though you’re terrified of heights. That sounds like trust, Cloud.” Leon finishes, his chest tightening; his left leg is starting to go numb.

Cloud turns to Zack, who’s wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. His eyebrows twitch, and he tenses up again, almost like he’s waiting to be punished for being wrong. “You’re...really here?”

Zack coughs and almost laughs, “Yeah, Spike. Do you trust me? Well, do you trust Leon?”

“More than almost anything,” Cloud responds his voice temporarily as certain as his heart is. Leon can feel the tension in the room ease up.

Zack nods, looking serious. “I’m real, Cloud. I’m here.”

“I watched you die, Zack.”

Leon closes his eyes. He knows the face Cloud is making. It’s the same disbelieving look Cloud has when he wakes up from a nightmare and thinks he’s back at Shinra. It’s the eyebrows furrowed, the anger at being betrayed into thinking he was free. That small hope that maybe the pain was over. 

It’s now that Leon realizes his knee doesn’t have much left. All the anxious fidgeting and tensing on top of climbing the stairs to Cloud’s apartment have set him up for a strained evening, regardless of whether or not he sits down right now. And yet Leon doesn’t want to move. He doesn’t want the balance within Cloud to shift; he needs him to process the truth. Even if they have to do this over and over again. Leon needs Cloud to know that he’s the hero in this story.

So he leans into his other knee.

“Spike, do you remember how the mako and the drugs played with our heads? We kept seeing shadows running across walls. You were-“

The pain is climbing up his leg.

“Hearing voices, yeah. But...I watched you, Zack. I sat there, and I watched him...”

Leon can tell when Cloud starts slipping back into a memory. He’ll shift to sit on his hands, and he’ll start bending his neck awkwardly like he’s trying to shiver his way out of the moment. 

Leon’s voice breaks a bit when he talks, and Zack’s head whips over to him, catching him leaning too far on his right knee. “Cloud, take a deep breath, okay? We’re at your apartment.”

Zack turns back to Cloud, and then back to Leon, who’s face is even more strained and is gripping the chair in front of him like it’s the only thing keeping him vertical.

Zack knows that it is.

Leon, distantly, vaguely, in some strange way, hears the front door open. The sound is cluttered because he can also hear these voices in front of him and his child-self crying in his head. The tension in his knee starts to spread, lighting up his nerves like the festive lights during the solstice. He’s trying to think straight and organize his thoughts so that he can sit down and help Cloud and be present and aware. Then there’s this twitch, and a breath of air passes by; he shivers, and his knee gives out. He should be falling and falling and falling down down down, but then there are arms wrapping around his back. 

And now there’s nothing but gray.

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to upload a second work after a comment and talking with my friend. So if you have any ideas or just want to say hi please leave one <3


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